Why I love to teach.

Okay on a recent post regarding my stance on education I might have said things that were slightly (i.e. definitely) 'hyperbolic' in their context, for this I am sorry. I've decided to wait it out for a while before I make a response and last night it hit me like a tonne of bricks... why I love to teach.

My first experience of this activity started back at the tender age of nine and my presentation to my family on existence of Santa Clause. I can still remember using the aerial from our deceased cordless phone as a pointer to my singular slide of a page from the Sunday World as a means of describing the existence of Santa Clause. Not what one might call their 'Feynman experience', but one which instilled in me; "I must share information". I can still remember the enthusiasm I had, the feeling of knowing something and sharing it. Reflecting on it now actually brings tears to my eyes. It was such a beautiful experience. Teaching is absolutely beautiful. It's for me it's like art and music colliding... it really is just beautiful. You see, you can't see teaching as some person disseminating information, it's more than that. It's a process of transference and from all the teachers in the world I doubt 90% of them realise this transference.

I can still recall in German class in the leaving cert, being told by one of my classmates; "you'd make a good teacher". I didn't know what she meant, I really didn't think of things like this. I wanted to be a biochemist, I wanted to be the next Hans Krebs, I wanted to study enzyme reactions and how we might use different proteins to manipulate enzymes, this supposition made by my classmate seemed completely out of the blue. I didn't pick up on this, like any compliment to me I usually brush it off with slight awkwardness and say something like "ah well you know..."

Now, it's 2007. I've just started my second year of an arts course. This is it, I want to be a town planner, I want to have the letters; BA (NUI), MRUP, MRTPI, MIPI after my name. This year was different though, we had an extra special subject in our programme called 'Environmental Economics'. This was difficult, our lecturer didn't give good notes and nobody understood anything, little did I know that this would be a life changing experience.

I am an obsessive person sometimes, I love, I absolutely need and crave to know something, next to craving love I crave knowledge. I don't do it to be the best, for there are others better than me by hundreds of miles. I just love to know what something is, just for the sake of it. Now, back in our class we were given a test in the middle of the term. Now, I sent around an email saying 'we should have a study session etc...' Got some replies, I thought this was going to be one of those sit around the desk and talk about stuff... how wrong was I.

I walked into the room, notes in hand, white board clear, and a group of about twenty of my classmates and some others I didn't recognise. I was shaking. I was the one here to help these people because I apparently came up with a method of doing discounting that was manageable.

So, I started going through the topics that were to be examined for the exam, even thinking about it brings tears of joy to my eyes. It was something out of this world, extraordinary. I started off on my first topic; I knew it so well I talked about it such clear and concise detail. I took peoples' questions and responded with absolute ease. I can still picture their expressions in my eyes, their focused eyes peered deeply at my graphs, and they hung on my every word. I remember a great lecturer call into the room and say "hope you're not trying to take my job", I still remember my awkwardness at such a supposition.

I talked about environmental economics for 90 minutes solid; I didn't stop only to take questions. And at the end of it, people understood. Just remembering it, brings on the tears, the joy I witnessed in their faces was palpable. It was beautiful; I simply can't quantify it because it was such a perfect moment. This was my watershed; this was when people said to me; "are you going to be a lecturer?". Without a doubt this was my El Alamein, this was when I found something else in me. This was teaching.

I continued on with my degree, I would teach five or one but I was teaching. This was something I fell in love with; I relish the thought of people listening to my every word as it feeds their thirst for knowledge. I thought when I had time, when I didn't I would send my notes and see what happened. I ended up teaching some postgraduate students in subjects similar to my field of expertise. I just loved the thought of teaching, the freedom of expression, the joy of it all.

You see folks, teaching is such a beautiful thing, and it’s only the state that makes it ugly. Teaching is an expression of love, it really is the antithesis of selflessness and selfishness combined, because you enjoy seeing a student learning, but you enjoy seeing how you did that. I don't know what makes a good teacher, but I do know that it is more than love of subject, it is love of people. It is working to see people progress, it is giving somebody the ability to strive, to move up. This is crucial, because if you don't feel something towards your students, you will be lost. Teaching really is the personification of love and art, I keep saying this but it really is beautiful. I honestly think that if teaching was a musical composition it would have to be this.

I still remember the shakes, the nervous I felt talking to my first audience. However, this was an act, I was a player and this was a play. This is teaching. You will be nervous but you will overcome this with self-confidence. If you believe in yourself, others will follow and this is what happens in teaching.

I could spend hours and hours talking about this, but I think the bulk of what I wanted to say has been said.

Some people run marathons, others play football, I love to teach and that is all.